Ada's Letter on Children's Health and Spiritual Reflections

Date: 1941-01-07
Sender: Ada
Recipient: My own Darling One
Location: 7 Granville Terrace, Bude, Cornwall
Original scan: 1941-01-07-ada-to-husband-childrens-health-and-faith.pdf




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Summary

Ada writes to her husband about concerns over measles and mumps affecting Gillian and Penna, and her decision to keep Gillian home from school. She recounts interactions with Miss Woodruff and Miss Weir, discussing their differing religious views. The letter then delves into Ada's deep personal reflections on her own faith, the nature of religion, and the challenges of balancing motherhood and her relationship with her husband amidst the war. She mentions advice from Dr Dodd and her struggles with her spiritual and emotional well-being.

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Transcription

7 Granville Terrace
Bude
Cornwall:
January 7, 1941.

My own Darling One

I wrote you yesterday – posted this morning – but I want to
write you some more.

I’ve decided to send Gillian to school this week, this being the
early incubation period of any children who may have been infected.
Measles began Jan 24 – and Mumps Jan 23.
I therefore reckon more cases may be looked for from Jan 5 to 12 –
if no cases after that I suppose the school will be out of quarantine
for measles. This would be a danger period for those not already infected.
I therefore propose to keep Gillian at home for this period –
Shall I give a bigger margin – i.e. from Monday Feb 3rd till Feb 13th –
This meaning 10 days instead of 7? Or what if they
had another case during that time I wouldn’t send her back.
All this is ignoring the mumps, to avoid the danger period
of that I’d have to keep her away until Feb 20th. That would be
another week. Shall I do this to an is mumps
not so serious.

I gather the danger would be for Penna especially as
she has had ear trouble. Next week I shall try and
keep the Children apart. Today I’ve moved Penna’s cot
into Joan’s room & Gillian back with me – as I should
nurse her in my room if she got measles and try
and keep the infection from the rest of the house.
Anyway I regard this week as not yet infection – am I right?

2.

I like Miss Woodruff – have had many little talks with her
about Gillian – she often came to the door when I fetched Gillian
and as Gillian would go off to play with other Children I was
free to talk without her hearing. I found her both understand
-ing of Gillian & myself – she seemed to have what one might
Call a sort of reverence for Gillian’s personality – at any
rate a sense of the value of it.

Yesterday I enquired of Miss Weir about her whereabouts. She
had left Miss W. with another teacher (of eleven years in
St Caths) to join a friend who had started a new school.
This friend – a married woman – who cared with for her
husband or for that matter for anything beyond doweing
horse riding – and was an atheist.

Miss Weir was terribly distressed and called Miss Woodruff
an “Atheist” – I suggested she probably meant “Agnostic”
anyway she had put her name down as C. of E.
Miss Weir said the atmosphere in the staff room was terrible
religion scoffed & jeered at. etc. Poor Miss W. she looked
aghaast & horrified & said she had had a terrible summer &
autumn through it. I tried to Comfort her saying that I
rather regarded folk like Miss Woodruff as “unconscious Christians”
– in fact those who when set on the right hand would
say “but I never knew Thee.” This gave Miss Weir a rather
doubtful Comfort as she was feeling the hurt of Miss

Woodruff’s & the other teachers disloyalty. Myself, I suppose also
selfishly, felt most the loss to Gillian of Miss Woodruff – who
I’m quite certain has had only a good effect on Gillian –
Then I could share a moment for thought I did so – and tried to think
clearly. Years ago I would have felt like Miss Weir – then
Came the reaction and I felt like Miss Woodruff – “Where was I
now? What did religion mean to me now?” Note that I
did not ask myself “what does Christ mean to me now?” I’ll
tell you why in a minute – at the time I was just feeling
the Challenge to “organized & recognized religion” rather than
to Christ himself. Well – that might I dreamed.

I was in one of the Shattered Churches – I wandered
about and noted all the destruction. Particularly I noticed an
old tombstone which had had brasses in it. Now there
was why are brass and part of that had gone and it was
loose. I thought I’d like to take it in order to preserve it or
it would why be looted. Then I realized that if I took it I
too would be looting. Just then I realized that the place
was full of worshippers and a Service was just beginning.
I looked round for a Seat – there wasn’t a single safe one
i.e. one that one could be sure would not let one down – yet
I must find some sort of seat or place if I was to have
the service at all. Then I realized that however much
the outward shell was shattered – the Spirit lived & was Vigorous.
I seemed to sleep long and dreamlessly after that.

I gather from that, that I rather lack an orthodox form of my
religion which I need (but must not depend on too much).
The rest of the symbolism is pretty obvious.
I admit that in the new arrangement of the room I rather
miss my little “side of desk shrine”. I must try and fix
up something that I can put beside me when I have my
every quiet times.

This is not quite my answer to your call to me to take
Care of my soul. Nor is the Challenge of Jesus Christ himself
which is a far greater thing –
My soul was very sick at Christmas time – but I knew from
past experience that had I sought spiritual help from anyone
in a position to give it they would have sent me to a doctor.
Priests also send me to doctors – and when with doctors I also
found myself harping on religious and theological problems. At
last doctor Dodd said to me “Your religion is all right
leave it alone for the present – it is your sex-life that is
wrong – get that right and you’ll find your religion all right.”
I found this hard to accept for I felt that religion to be of
any use at all must help me at such times of need.
The war has taken you from me – only partly, I know we still
have Contact. And letters are very precious – and all the spiritual
understanding there is between us.
I’m having rather an overdose of motherhood for my age.
Twenty years ago I’d have taken this job in my stride and regarded

its problems as flea-bites. Then are of your visits to the next I
am making Constant preparation to give you a better time next
time the last. I’ll not weary you with details of what is involved. It
will be easier as baby days pass and school girl days come
which were also of greater interest to you.

When I find myself unable to meet your needs when you
come rather see red “with those who I think have blocked
my way.” Dr Dodd said when I got furious like that
there was little I could do to stop it but I could learn
a lot from it if I could watch myself – and I think
this is the trouble – the Conflict of two very strong
instincts in me – wifehood and motherhood.

I’ve done so much of Joan & the Children this week
you were not here. I get furious if they won’t free
me for you when you are here. Last time they not only
used up all my strength but all my reserves to. So that
when you came I longed only of a little dowe to hide
in – a feeling I have not had since my nervous breakdown.
Well I must tackle this –
1st I must get rest – under the Ruben Cires: I can
only get this a little at a time – but I am getting it.
2nd I must wean Joan & Gillian from me –
The former isn’t quite so easy as you might think. Joan
has a very slow mind and when left alone does the maddest
things (Gillian has 20 times the Common sense Joan has)

and I’m Counting on school to help me wean Gillian. But
we are also having some reasonable talks together. And
she is being much better at doing things alone on with
her dolls on Penna – I’ll never let Penna absorb
me as much as Gillian has done –
3rd I must plan for and take time for my soul. I need
more time than just the last hour of the day – in other
words I must find leisure not only selfishly for myself
but for you. Time for whatever things are lovely etc etc.
And beyond this little home, not necessarily physically
although it would be helpful if I could get away for it occasionally
– but free time – a time which I can spend preparing my mind
for you while you are away and growing up when you come –
And it will not be selfish to expect Joan & the Children
to respect such time.

There now do you think that will help. Already I’m
gradually bringing this about – and it is a help.
I must go and fetch Gillian now. I’ve given you
all the time between taking her to school and fetching
her. And left Joan to get on with the laundry and
having cold meat again for dinner. Sort of the kids.
Regard anything that shocked you at Xmas time as a sort
of delirium – it was you know. This I still feel that
religion – in Jesus Christ shall we say should be able
to Conquer it –

Of Jesus Christ himself – never through any dark
times have I wavered in thinking Him perfect and
the only solution to the problems of this world –
It may be difficult to know what he meant – did
he preach good pacifism or not – etc. etc.
There are questions of his divinity – To me it lies
not in Virgin birth or anything like that – but in
His Character – that was certainly divine –
Does He live now? As a separate “Consciousness”?
How do I know? But wherever love is there He is – and
it is love and no less that will put this world right.
Why then do I so much fail to follow Him – That is
my whole tragedy, darling – It is too high & great
for me – “The high that raved too high
The heroic for earth too hard –
The passion that left the earth & lost itself
in the sky.”

As Browning says – “Are music sent up to
God”…. “Enough that He heard it once – we
shall hear it by and by.”
The high is too high for me – but if it is music which
He has heard – please God you and others will hear it
some day – that is my prayer.

All my love to you beloved – your own
Ada.

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People mentioned

- Penna
- Gillian
- Joan
- Miss Woodruff
- Miss Weir
- Dr Dodd
- Ada
- Browning

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Topics

- family health
- measles
- mumps
- school
- childcare
- religion
- spirituality
- personal reflection
- marriage
- motherhood
- wartime life

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Uncertain words / phrases

- an is mumps
- Ruben Cires
- dowe

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Archivist notes

- The letter shows clear concerns about infectious diseases (measles, mumps) impacting children's schooling and family life during wartime, a common theme for the period. Ada's spiritual reflections are extensive and deeply personal.
- The phrase 'an is mumps' on page 1 is likely a transcription error for 'as is mumps' or 'as mumps is', but transcribed as written.
- The word 'dowe' on page 5, in the context of hiding, likely means 'doze' or 'drowsing', differing from the 'dancing' interpretation in the existing spelling note for 'doweing'.

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Context suggestions

These were used to update/suggest additions for `archive-context.json`.

```json
{
"people": [],
"places": [],
"common_phrases": [
"All my love to you beloved - your own Ada"
],
"spelling_notes": [
"St Caths (likely St Catherines)",
"an is mumps (likely as is mumps)",
"dowe (in context of hiding/resting, likely doze or drowsing)",
"Ruben Cires (unclear meaning, possibly a book/author/place)"
],
"relationships": {}
}
```

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